Toujours Pur

Welcome to The Slytherin Owlery!

Ask us anything, unworthy Muggles and Wizards alike. Since apparently everyone is so fascinated with our good looks and intelligence, we thought we'd answer questions from the common public, you know, to amuse ourselves. Not just boost our egos, obviously. Submissions and Asks are temporarily CLOSED.


If you'd like to help out, please donate to the education fund! Any amount is much appreciated :)

Draco, who did you lose your virginity to? And have you taken anyone's virginity?

That’s extremely personal. - Draco

He lost his virginity to me. We were 15; it was drunken and awkward. - Pansy

Sigh, thank you Pansy. - Draco

You’re welcome. I’m also 100% certain that he took Granger’s golden snitch by the way they always acted, but he’ll never admit to that in his mopey state. - Pansy

Pansy, can we be best friends?

Send me an application. and we’ll see. - Pansy

An application? Because it’s such a hard job being friends with you? A ful time gig - Blaise

Yes. Yes it is, Blaise. - Pansy

What's your guilty pleasures?;)

Masturbation. - Theo

Um, EW. I was going to say chocolate cremes, but I think i’ll go vomit instead and never eat them again. - Pansy

Same. - Draco

Same. - Blaise

Same. - Astoria

Same. - Crabbe & Goyle

Same. - Millicent

Same. - Prof. Snape


Professor Snape!? GUYS. I WAS JOKING. - Theo

Sure you were. - Draco

narcissa, haven't you heard the news? draco finally started to use the potty. it was kinda of sad hearing people making fun of him tbh.

Theo, I swear to fucking god. - Draco

Oh, don’t be silly, he learned quite young. It was wetting the bed that was the issue for some time. - Narcissa

The bed, eh?….- Theo

Mother, please. - Draco

Abraxas, what did you think of Narcissa? Also, have you ever slapped/wanted to slap Lucius?

I think my son was blessed to find such a devoted, lovely, strong woman to marry, and have such a wonderful grandson with. And of course. I think i’ve run out of slaps to give Lucius given how he was in his youth.


Plenty of times I just wanted to wring his neck for acting up so much. - A. Malfoy

Wow whoever said Tom was the sexiest Slytherin... dafuq? Like obviously it is Lucius. Damn him and that sexy head of blonde hair! (by the way, Lucius, I'm touching your hear whether you like it or not.)

Ew. - Draco

Shush, son. If you touch my hair, i’ll curse you. But I thank you for the immense compliment. - Lucius Malfoy


Theodore, you are perfect.


- Theo

What the.. are you still running this so everyone can see it. My friend just opened it and then the golden trio walked by. They stopped and read it. These were their reactions: Hermione: Yes Ron I've seen this, it's pathetic. Don't be ridiculous..I. HOW DARE HE WRITE THAT? Harry: This is sick. Ron: (I'm leaving the swearwords out). I don't think that I've ever laughed that much.

Good to know we affect them so much. - Draco

More like, good to know I can lap up in the attention some more, eh Malfoy? - Blaise

No, it’s more like, ‘WOW, Granger actually thought about me one time!!’” - Theo

Or maybe it’s more like Theo should go to hell? - Draco

What if i told you theres a secret passageway from the dungeons boy dormitories to the gryffindor girls room, built by Hercules the Horny in 1196?

I would say that’s incredibly invasive and pervy. - Pansy

I would say that’s a great way to get hexed. Useful if any of them actually liked me. - Theo

I think maybe I should use it tonight and talk to Granger. My only issue is if she’s gonna be absent and downstairs with Weasley, or Potter. - Draco

He’ll punch you out….actually, she’ll punch you out. But….it’s your funeral. - Theo

What happend to Hermione draco?

She’s off gallivanting with Potter and Weasley, probably, I don’t care. - Draco

I caught her looking at you during lunch, actually. You were too brooding and much too stubborn to actually try and talk it out. Maybe go talk to her? - Astoria

I - but…- Draco

Just go, for Merlin’s sake. I’m sick of the Malfoy Pity Parade you keep throwing yourself. - Daphne